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Jokes
I'm not gonna have a big long speech about this one...
Because everybody laughs at me...
And if everyone laughs at me...
I'll have to kill 'em all!
MHUAHAHAHA!
~If you don't like killing, why do it?~
It's not that I don't like killing you people...
It's just that then nobody will be able to watch the show...
With you all dead and such...
*Sigh...*
Oh...
What a boring show it would be then...
*Sigh...*
Oh well...
You're all alive except that guy I will kill later...
Yes...
One of you will die during the videos...
I can sense it...
Anyhoo...
Cue the jokes...
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Shit, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
This blonde called 911, screaming "Help me, Help me my house is on fire".
The dispatch said "Mam, please calm down. I need to get some information from you".
Again the blonde yelled "Help me, Help me my house is on fire".
The dispatch said "Mam calm down, How do we get to your house?".
The blonde replied "Duh... In the big red truck".
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.
"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?"
After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."
They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her.
Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her.
Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun."
The people from NASA replied, "why, don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?"
The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"
One day a blonde was driving on the highway and got pulled over by a cop. The cop said "Why do you keep swerving?" The blonde replied "I turn one way and there's a tree, I turn again there's a tree, and then there's a whole bunch more trees popping out of nowhere." The cop replied "You retard that's your air freshener."
Yo mama's so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone!
Yo mama's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear!
Yo mama's mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound!
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow she spits butter!
Yo mama's so skinny she turned sideways and disappeared!
Yo mama's so short she does backflips under the bed!
Yo mama's so short you can see her feet on her drivers licence!
Yo mama's so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
Yo mama's so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed!
Yo mama's so greasy companies buy their Oil from her!
Yo mama's so flat she's jealous of the wall!
Yo mama's so poor she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers!
Yo mama's so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning!
Yo mama's so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs!
Yo mama's so bald you can see whats on her mind!
A redneck family are visiting a big city for the first time.
The father ans son are in the hotel lobby when the spot an elevator.
"What's that Paw?" The boy asked.
"I ain't never did see nothin' like that in my life" Replied the father.
Seconds later an old frail woman walks in the hotel door and hobbles to the elevator. She presses the button with her cain, waits for the doors to open and gets in.
The father and son, still amazed by this contraption, continue to watch.
They hear a ping noise and the doors open again. Out steps a beautiful 20 year old busty blonde.
The father looks at his son and says "Go get your Maw !"
YOU LIKE?
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Shit, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
This blonde called 911, screaming "Help me, Help me my house is on fire".
The dispatch said "Mam, please calm down. I need to get some information from you".
Again the blonde yelled "Help me, Help me my house is on fire".
The dispatch said "Mam calm down, How do we get to your house?".
The blonde replied "Duh... In the big red truck".
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.
"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?"
After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."
They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her.
Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her.
Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun."
The people from NASA replied, "why, don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?"
The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"
One day a blonde was driving on the highway and got pulled over by a cop. The cop said "Why do you keep swerving?" The blonde replied "I turn one way and there's a tree, I turn again there's a tree, and then there's a whole bunch more trees popping out of nowhere." The cop replied "You retard that's your air freshener."
Yo mama's so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone!
Yo mama's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear!
Yo mama's mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound!
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow she spits butter!
Yo mama's so skinny she turned sideways and disappeared!
Yo mama's so short she does backflips under the bed!
Yo mama's so short you can see her feet on her drivers licence!
Yo mama's so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
Yo mama's so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed!
Yo mama's so greasy companies buy their Oil from her!
Yo mama's so flat she's jealous of the wall!
Yo mama's so poor she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers!
Yo mama's so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning!
Yo mama's so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs!
Yo mama's so bald you can see whats on her mind!
A redneck family are visiting a big city for the first time.
The father ans son are in the hotel lobby when the spot an elevator.
"What's that Paw?" The boy asked.
"I ain't never did see nothin' like that in my life" Replied the father.
Seconds later an old frail woman walks in the hotel door and hobbles to the elevator. She presses the button with her cain, waits for the doors to open and gets in.
The father and son, still amazed by this contraption, continue to watch.
They hear a ping noise and the doors open again. Out steps a beautiful 20 year old busty blonde.
The father looks at his son and says "Go get your Maw !"
YOU LIKE?
Well...
You better like them...
UP NEXT...
THE VIDEOS!
rscrash94 |
Latest page update: made by rscrash94
, Jun 15 2007, 12:11 PM EDT
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| Started By | Thread Subject | Replies | Last Post | ||
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| spud19 | medioker | 1 | Nov 5 2007, 4:25 PM EST by rscrash94 | ||
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Thread started: Oct 29 2007, 8:23 AM EDT
Watch
your jokes are good but they're too long!!and i am'nt really the readin type.............. if you know what i mean....
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